NEVER WASTE A POLITICAL STORM

Britain’s relationship with Israel is caught in a political storm - but Ed Miliband appears determined to turn even diplomatic turbulence into progress towards Net Zero.

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Satirical image of Ed Miliband using a propeller hat to harness a storm scattering papers marked “Britain–Israel relations.”
As Britain–Israel relations disappear into a political storm, Ed Miliband discovers that every diplomatic tailspin can still help drive the Net Zero dial.

Britain’s new Foreign Secretary has discovered an exciting new source of renewable energy:

**The collapse of Britain–Israel relations.**

As the diplomatic storm gathers over Westminster, lesser statesmen might seek calm, exercise restraint and protect a longstanding ally.

Not Captain Net Zero.Ed Miliband straps on his propeller hat, connects himself to the national grid and watches delightedly as every diplomatic gust drives his target meter closer to 100%.

Another accusation against Israel?** The blades turn faster.**

Another sanction?**The needle rises.**

Another furious response from Jerusalem?**

Excellent-more renewable turbulence!**

While Israel confronts enemies who openly seek its destruction, Britain’s fiercest moral outrage is increasingly directed towards Israel itself.

But Ed has discovered the perfect political recycling scheme:

Turn accusations into sanctions.

Turn sanctions into retaliation.

Turn retaliation into crisis.

Turn crisis into wind.

Then use the wind to power another speech about saving the world.

Britain’s friendships may be shredded.

Its credibility may be swept away.

Its influence may disappear into the storm.

But look at that meter!

****Net Zero restraint.

****Net Zero proportion.

****Net Zero understanding of consequences.

**And, if Captain Net Zero continues at this speed:

**NET ZERO BRITISH INFLUENCE - ACHIEVED AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.**